It’s about the journey, not the destination, right? Well this has been a lifelong question for me. I have spend so much time stu(dying) and waiting for a “good job” to come along, the “right time” to figure my life out, and the “right group of friends” that I could mindfully have fun with.

Well, this is bullshit. Life, as I have found out, can become really fragile if you don’t take care of your own mind. Health literally always comes first, and I learned this the hard way. You see, I thought I could do it all. I thought I could be the fun one, the one who goes out and parties, the one who gets straight As, the one who has a big group of friends and posts a lot on instagram, the one who has the successful boyfriend (or girlfriend) who I travel lots with. Nope.

It was never about what I had or didn’t have in my school. You see, I’ve hit my mid-twenties and have somehow realized that I must slow down. I also must stop comparing myself to others. I got addicted to social media from a young age, and then got addicted to spending money. You see, slowing down is often very (very) hard in this day and age when living in a “hustle culture”. I personally think hustle culture is based in a fear of failing, and this is from my own personal experience.

When I say I placed my worth on what I did, I mean that quite literally. My most prized possession being my resume at age 20, is quite a pathetic thing I might say. I would jump from position to position only to spend all the money I made on clothes, eating out, and other things to fill my never ending black hole of things I thought needed to fulfill empty friendships. I was stuck in this cycle for years. After my undergrad and when I almost finished grad school, I had the quarter life crisis that was probably bound to happen.

Sometimes the universe makes you learn lessons the hard way. At this point, I’m pretty grateful for that. Otherwise I wouldn’t have started writing this blog. I hope that whoever reads this is inspired that recovery, is in fact, not linear. I will also say that when the going gets tough and things feel impossible, I just want to send a little reassurance to you that if you are here, alive, you always have a chance to change your life and work it out.

-ME